A Little Down....

So hubby started a new job.  Which is great, he's happier there, he really likes the attitudes of his co-workers, he enjoys the commute (no highways...no traffic...very scenic), and he has great benefits.  I'm very happy that he's happy.  The problem is that I'm not.  At all.  His hours are 8:30 to 5.  It's now 7:27 and he hasn't even LEFT yet.  It's so frustrating.  It's Friday night, I'm exhausted as I am sure he is, and the baby still needs a bath, I have laundry to finish, and I wanted to do our Christmas card pictures tonight.  Sigh.  I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.  I know he works hard for us to be able to afford for me to stay home.  I just want to be able to spend time with him.  And I just don't get that opportunity anymore.  I feel like we're never just spending time together.  I'm always cleaning, he's always working, and of course, the baby needs to be taken care of too!  And I love taking care of her, it's just that today was such a bummer.  I had to eat dinner alone.  I cleaned up alone.  I'm probably going to have to give the baby a bath alone.  And I won't get my Christmas pictures done tonight, which means I have to do them tomorrow, and they won't get out until Monday.  Two days later than I was hoping.  I just wish that with this holiday season, that normally brings such happiness to my heart, my husband would be home more.  I miss him so much.  I feel like I know absolutely nothing about his life anymore.  I don't know anything about his job, I don't know anything about his school, nothing.  I just miss our talks.  Our quiet time just the two of us after the baby has gone to bed.  Last night he got home so late he didn't see the baby at all.  She was asleep when he left in the morning, and asleep by the time he got home.  It just isn't fair.  I just wish there was something I could do.  Some way I could talk to him about it without it being an argument.  I wish he was here to just talk about our day.  I know I'm probably over emotional about it.  I just miss the "us" that we were.  We used to talk about everything. I just miss it.  And I know that I'm a big baby, and a brat.  But I just can't help it right now.  I cannot stop thinking about how much I hate this job.  And I have to go to his company party on Sunday and act like the doting wife who loves her husband (which I do) and supports his job (which I don't right now). UGH.  Sorry for the rant.  I know nobody really reads it...but it makes me feel better to just get this off my chest.  Hopefully it'll be better tomorrow......